Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Safe Penpalling

One of the great joys of letter writing is the penpal experience.

When I was a teenager, I had penpals from all over the world...China, Germany, Yugoslavia, England, Denmark, West Malaysia, Japan and several other countries. We wrote to each other about all sorts of things, ranging from details about how we lived our lives in our respective corners of the world to typical things teens talk about with each other, dreams for the future, problems in school, boy/girlfriends, etc.

It was a great cultural exchange that took place seemingly everywhere.

As an American, I sometimes received a letter from a new penpal who assumed that all Americans were rich and who thought I could send them money or things. I never did. I spent all my money on air mail stamps...I didn't have any extra to spare!

My penpals and I often exchanged photos of ourselves. They were simple photos that our parents took of us or maybe school photos.

Nowadays, with email scams rampant, TV shows feeding our fears of stalkers and serial killers, and dating sites scattered across the Internet, blindly sending off a kid's name, address and photo -- or even your own -- to someone who says they'll find them a penpal doesn't always seem like the smart thing to do.

Of course, there are legitimate, safe penpal services out there, but here are some tips to make your penpal experience even safer:

1. Enjoy the experience of penpalling but be cautious and smart. Trust your instincts.

2. Get and use a P.O. Box, rather than sending out your home address. A P.O. box at the post office typically costs $20-$30 every six months, maybe more in some communities. Check with your local post office to see what they have available and how much it costs. If that's not an option, try using your office address (or that of your parents).

3. Don't send a photo right off the bat. If you send a photo ever, wait until you've exchanged several letters and feel like you know the penpal better. If you are a teen or younger kid, never ever send any kind of inappropriate photo to anyone, even if they ask you to or send you one of them. If that happens, take the letter to a trusted adult immediatley.

4. Don't give out too much very personal information about yourself immediately. For example, you might say "My birthday is in May" rather than giving out the specific date and year.

5. Never send money. Don't send gift cards, money orders or anything of the sort. And, never send your penpal your bank account information. Not for any reason.

6. Be wary of meeting in person until you've written to your penpal for a long time. And, then, only meet in a public place with lots of people around.

7. Penpals often exchange items, from a package of your favorite gum to bookmarks to little trinkets that represent your country. But, don't be bullied into sending anything you don't want to send, from photos to candy to recipes. Only participate in "swaps" that you're interested in.

I don't write these tips for safe penpalling to scare you off of the hobby. Penpalling is a fun and exciting project. But, it's better to be safe.

Happy letter writing!

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