It's an interview with "the noble business envelope," aka "Enny." By the way, he speaks with a British accent, since Edwin Hill and Warren de la Rue, who patented the first machine to cut and crease envelopes way back in 1845, were British.
My favorite parts of the "interview":
DELIVER: What’s your opinion of Mail Art?
ENNY: Love it, love it, mate! I’ve got an ego like anyone else, ya know. I like to be special, colorful, to stand out from the pile. And the more distinctive I am, the more effective I can be as a prospecting tool. Hey, I’m like a pickaxe! A “prospecting tool,” get it?
DELIVER: Oh, we got it. Enny, what are some of your favorite things?
ENNY: Let’s see… Celebrity stamps. Pen pals. Successful marketing campaigns where I get to seal the deal. Windows — I’m the trans parent type, ya know? Barcodes. Thank-you letters. ESD, Electronic Stamp Distribution. Messaging on me outside. Being certified or registered — what power being all official! Being spritzed with cologne or some other pretty scent. Oh, and definitely, recycling.
DELIVER: And your dislikes?
ENNY: Too much saliva. E-mail strings. Poison pen letters. “Return to Sender.” Hot wax seals — how’d you like to have something all heated up and sticky pressed onto your backside, eh? Oh, and shredders. We lost Uncle Henry to a crosscut, high-speed job back in ’06. Me aunt went all to pieces.
If you want to download "Deliver," visit the website www.delivermagazine.com.
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